It doesn’t have to be profound. Only honest and good enough. Showing up lovingly and being the best mother, wife, teacher, and friend I can be on any given day, in any given moment, amidst the challenge of constantly changing conditions and circumstances is what is required. This is what has been at the forefront of practice for me of late: softness and fluidity.
I have a strong tendency towards striving for perfection, and then it’s inevitable counterpart – anxiety. Not to mention good ol’ self-doubt. But there is no place in my life that this tendency becomes more amplified than as a mother. As Abbey is diving into toddlerhood the more complex aspects of parenthood are popping up; and with the noble desire of wanting to “get it right”, anxiety and doubt are also becoming more apparent.
And it’s certainly not only in the realm of parenthood that this patterns can be seen: collectively, we do this with the foods we eat, in our relationships, careers, and even in our practice lives: we want to get it right but this causes us to be rigid. The opposite energy of love.
Arriving just at the right time, a friend of mine sent me the following link: 36 Ways You’re Messing Up Your Child
I thoroughly enjoyed the quick read, and chuckled at many of the tongue-and-cheek sentiments…particularly # 7 and #26…parent or not, I think you’ll enjoy the underlying message that in striving for perfection within the conflicting messages we receive, we loose site of what’s most important.
It was a good reminder (and practice life really can be summed up as “remembering”) to hold it all more lightly, and soften, mirroring the fluidity of life itself. How much we learn to let go is a marker of how well we lived. Within my power is how lovingly I show up, how honest I am, and good enough – not perfect.
May you soften and flow wherever it’s needed.